That inexplicable pleasure and thrill of gatecrashing...

I am always averse to attending marriage parties. My mom's relentless urge to accompany her to marriage parties would always end up in she cursing me for being lazy and shy. Yeah, I am a tad shy when it comes to attending marriage parties of not-so-closely-acquainted people. Seriously, the only conversation topics you can expect are either "What have you thought about your life" or "What are you doing nowadays". To a 22 year old and a jobless jack(Techie) like me, these questions are fairly embarrassing.

But oddly enough, there is a unique thrill in crashing the marriage parties of strangers- without being invited.

Mysore is quite famous for its extravagant weddings. Its a treat to both our eyes and stomach.(If you know what I mean ;) ). There are quite a many choultries(local term for marriage halls) where the odds of returning empty stomach and getting caught are very very less. During my engineering days, when I was still a newbie to gatecrashing, one fine day my friend called me up and talked about the adventure of gatecrashing. Thrilled as I was, we left to crash the party.

There is only one rule to survive at those parties- Don't be nervous.

Since that was my first time, I was nervous and scared of the humiliation if caught. My friend cajoled me and gave me some tips and one ground rule. After that advice, it took no time for me to feel comfortable. It was only 7p.m and dinner was still an hour later. Without much ado, we selected a spot which was kind of like a vantage point for that surreptitious gaze- after all boys will be boys!. It was more or less like the ethnic day of our college- saree clad girls and lots and lots of make-up. Fortunately none recognized our faces and we continued the enjoy the ambience. After having spent around 45 mins, we decided to call it quits to avoid being spotted. Imagine our situation when sister of the bride complains to her father about two guys who would not stop staring at her! It was now time for the photoshoot. My friend had earlier advised me to wear a brand new T-shirt. The reason now became clear. The stage was set ornately. I was surprised at the enthusiasm of the relatives to get their photo click along with the couple. Even we joined them, but decided to stand at the corner. This was my most cherish-able experience in that wedding. That was how two strangers became an unforgettable piece of one's wedding. No matter what, we will always be talked about by everyone their family.

It was now time for the food- it was delectable. From starters to desserts, everything was mouth-watering.

But, seriously, How often do you go to a stranger's wedding and find the most dreaded professor of your college spotting you?

It happened with us!. Right in front of us, right there! He recognized our faces(mischievous as we were) and was surprised. My friend wittily took care of the situation and we escaped narrowly.

The first time is always exciting. When I look back now, the photoshoot is the first thing that comes to my mind.

Imagine two persons from their families looking at the wedding photos and suddenly we turn up...

This might be a closest match to their conversation:

A (After looking at my face) : Who the hell is that tall guy in Red Stripes?

B: Oh yeah!! and who the hell is that guy in a round collared T-shirt? Doesn't even know how to get dressed up for a marriage!

A: I pity them. They must be some college students staying at a P.G who have come here in search of good food.

B: Yeah! (Disgusted look) Now even our children will ask about them when they look at these photos!

One thing was true- I stayed in a P.G, but I never went there in search of good food. It was that thrill and inexplicable pleasure of posing for a group photo, that excitement in staring and that nervousness which made my gatecrashing experience memorable.

Lifeu Ishtene...

“My **** manager had assigned me hell lot of tasks dude”, grumbled my friend when he came home at 8p.m on a Friday. I am sure he is not the only grumbling friend I have; there are lots of others who mutter about their software jobs. I always wonder at the tendency of most of us to wrap their problems in one garb and name it “corporate life”. While relapsing on a chair in an air conditioned room watching you-tube videos (only when free :-P), we complain about our handsome-paying jobs.

In this article of mine, I would like to divert the readers’ attention towards other professions as well. Perhaps, it might make them realize that the grass is always greener on the other side of the hedge. We are so prejudiced towards the negativities of our jobs that, this strong feeling of dissatisfaction has turned us blind towards the real struggle of some non-corporate employees. The clamor for ‘job satisfaction’ has led us into believing that, whatever job we do in IT industry is worthless and this feeling of resentment often results in high attrition rate.

It is strange how every other job looks awesome than the one we are into. Being a software engineer, we might even take a liking towards the profession of an auto-rickshaw driver or a bus conductor. Some study engineering passionately and get into their dream jobs, stay happy for the rest of their lives and the rest pursue it for the prospects of a high paying job and sooner or later, they end up cursing their profession and start waiting for a dream job to strike them, as if it’s an epiphany.

Even though I am still a newbie software engineer, I have had the opportunity to understand the plight of people working only to fulfill their square meal and I couldn’t help but think about our lives where even slippers are branded. In spite of basking in all the glories and luxuries of our jobs, yet we crib about our lives. That life where shoes and burgers are just a click away.  In fact, I feel that all the comforts we need are easily accessible to us. But, I was compelled to contrast my life with that of Suresh, (Name changed) a ‘Lift operator’. For 12 straight hours, from 8p.m to 8a.m, he does nothing but wait for someone to press the button so that he can justify his presence. How can he make peace with that constant, agitating thought of “What am I doing here? No, I deserve to be in a better place. I can do better things than just pressing some buttons”. I couldn’t help myself from asking him about his duty. Pat came the reply- “Ella aa devara kaiyalli sir. Nam kaiyall enide?” (It’s all destiny sir, we are just his puppets). I stood speechless. That day, he taught me an invaluable lesson- “Be complacent with what you have and what you can achieve. Don’t put your weight behind dreams which are tantalizing.”

I felt, he deserves a much better salary than us for his patience and mental strength which we don’t have.

If you are in a quandary about your job satisfaction and have run out of options, I would suggest you to strike up a conversation with people like Suresh who can placate your agitated mind.

The sight of a busy Bangalore street is quite disturbing. Horns blaring, crowded streets and hawkers wading their way through. Amidst all this hoopla, Gopal, (Name changed) a BMTC bus driver skillfully prevents a minor collision and ultimately avoids a major traffic jam. It was quite an unusual sight in a BMTC bus that day- vacant seats! I took advantage of this situation to start a conversation with him. Unlike Suresh(Lift operator), Gopal vented his frustration on the higher authorities. He spends half a day away from his family, driving a packed bus on the streets of Bangalore with the constant thought of punctuality in his mind and yet, becomes another victim of harassment. 

There are still a lot people like Suresh and Gopal, whose miseries are totally unknown to us. We are actually a privileged lot. Think about this statement for a while. I hope, if not many, at least some of you can appreciate this fact. So, when you are sad with your life because of your job, stop being sad and think of those people who have experienced what we might never experience- “Poverty”.

Hail Thy Heroes..!!

“Dhoom-3 scales a new peak by hitting the 200crore jackpot in less than 5 days”. “Aamir khan mesmerizes his fans yet again”. This news was so important that it shared the headlines along with the news of a historic political turnaround in the national capital. Speaking of that “100crore” figure, our wallets should not be forgotten. We don’t really mind to spend some extra bucks and 3 hours just to watch our favorite hero beat those goons black and blue. What is so special in our b’wood movies or rather b’wood heroes that we don’t care spending some extra bucks? And, we wouldn’t want to miss that fun of watching a movie on a weekend at some swanky multiplex, do we?

After spending my time watching considerably umpteen b’wood movies, I am contemplating on distancing myself from them. Barring a few exceptions, every single movie I have seen till date portrays a hero as personality of stature infinitely greater than Superman. A hero is the best bro, a respectable father, an obedient son, an ideal boyfriend and a caring husband. He is the complete- man, ideal in all respects. Every girl would dream of such a man. Heck Yeah!, I myself would dream to be such a man.!

A hero is a singular personality who has mastered the art of everything, from cooking to martial arts. Without any training, he can compose a beautiful poem and sing instantaneously in a tone so mellifluous that it hypnotizes the audience and yeah, I forgot to mention about his dance moves- even Michael Jackson would say “I’m proud of ya!!”.

 A hero plays piano like Mozart and guitar like David Gilmour and mind you- he just places his fingers on the strings and the guitar plays by itself! OMG! He is the asli the baap of the Rajini anna!!

He can even don a chef’s hat and cook amazingly delicious items. I am quite sure that if our hero were to pick up a street fight with Bruce Lee or Mike Tyson or The Undertaker, they would have to run for his mercy! Seriously, how many skills is our hero well versed in?! We can use every adjective out there to describe him and we lavishly spend some extra bucks to watch such flicks?

You’ve gotta be f***** kidding me.!!

I don’t get this nexus between heroes and superbikes. Ever since John Abraham flaunted his physique on a super-cool superbike, every hero has resorted to a superbike to impress our heroine. Perhaps they have taken the phrase “Express to impress” way too seriously. I don’t know why, in spite of having a repertoire of skills, they resort to some lame-a** ways to get laid. Does riding superbikes make them super-cool? Hell No!

Many people idolize the heroes because of reasons which are still elusive to me. I don’t know why our heroes receive so much attention when they make a public appearance? Should Salman khan make a mistake of talking a walk in a park; people surround him and crave for a mere glimpse as if a Halley’s Comet has been spotted. A philosraptor would ask this question “Will Uday Chopra experience the same?”

Apart from the movies, we see our heroes everywhere- Advertisements, cricket etc etc. The reason behind them sharing a huge chunk of television space is the same- WE CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM. We want every product which is being endorsed by them- from toothpaste to T-shirt.

I am sure many of us would have thought of sporting our favorite hero’s hairdo or a six-pack. If people are still musing, Tere naam style might ring some bells. But talk about Abdul Kalam style, B***h Please!!

Jokes apart, why do we try to be like these heroes? Everyone might be interested to know if Sallu Bhai (It’s what we affectionately call him) bought a new flat at Juhu or a 20lac bike. We know that King Khan is now aiming at a 12 or a 16 pack but odds are, we might be unaware of some “did you know” facts about them! We follow only what we want to follow. According to my opinion (No offence to my friends who follow our heroes very seriously), we should call quits to the practice of epitomizing our ‘HEROES’. Move on people, don’t we have anything better to do?